When you see a man that has trouble making eye contact, you’ll likely form a negative impression of him. Does he have something to hide? Maybe he thinks you’re not worth paying attention to. As a result, we often jump to the wrong conclusion about a person.
The reality is that many guys have trouble looking people in the eye and while some manage to go through life without learning how to make proper eye contact, they often have difficulty in many social interactions.
Establishing a good eye contact habit is essential for developing successful social habits. Looking people in the eye can help drive how people perceive you and even how successful you are in your career and even your love life. Learn more about how having good eye contact can help you and check out the Dr. Squatch blog for more posts about life tips that every man should know.
You Show You’re a Good Listener
Don’t you get annoyed when you’re talking to someone, and they are looking at their cell phone, checking out a hot girl, or doing anything other than giving you their full attention? One of the best ways you can show someone that you’re genuinely listening to them is by looking at them in the eye.
One of the best ways you can show someone that you’re genuinely listening to them is by looking at them in the eye.
Looking people in the eye is a sign of focus. You’re paying attention to what they are saying. You engage by making eye contact and signal that you’re interested. You don’t just listen with your ears. You show you’re listening by making eye contact.
You Appear More Honest
Think back to when you’re a kid. When you got in trouble with your parents, you likely couldn’t look them in the eye. That’s a common trait amongst most people, not just children. When someone is lying, it is very difficult for them to hold eye contact for very long, if at all.
When you’re looking people in the eye, it gives off the impression that you’re being honest about what you’re saying. Cops use this a lot to tell whether a person is lying. Parents do the same thing. If you have trouble making eye contact, then people are going to wonder what you’re trying to hide.
You are More Assertive
Most powerful men don’t have trouble making eye contact. Powerful and strong men are assertive and one way of showing that assertiveness is by looking people in the eye and holding a sustained gaze.
Powerful and strong men are assertive and one way of showing that assertiveness is by looking people in the eye and holding a sustained gaze.
This can give you an incredible amount of power when communicating with other people, especially those who can be easily persuaded. You know how Vampires can gaze into someone’s eyes and make them do whatever they want? That’s based in reality! You can tap into that hidden power with good eye contact.
People Will Trust You More
Whether you’re trying to convince someone of your point of view or trying to land your next job, good eye contact is vital for establishing trust. When you look someone in the eye, it shows you’re confident about your opinions and abilities. This confidence will help others trust you more. The best salesmen and negotiators are masters at using eye contact to establish trust with clients. If you want to appear more trustworthy, start by establishing good eye contact.
You Encourage Engagement
People want to be recognized and want to be part of things. You can take advantage of this with strong eye contact. When you’re looking people in the eye, you are signaling to them that it is OK for them to engage with you. You’re giving them an open invitation to participate in the discussion or event.
Your listeners will then begin to engage in various ways. These responses include:
- Head Nods
- Facial Expressions (Frowns, smiles, and eyebrow raises)
- Head Tilting
- Shrugging of Shoulders
- Thumbs Up
- The OK sign
If you’re holding a conversation, looking them in the eye will encourage them to respond to your opinions and give you their thoughts.
Instead of being passive listeners, your audience becomes active participants. Politicians and public speakers use this tactic often to get listeners or voters engaged and you should, too.
You Form Intimate Bonds
The eyes are the windows to the soul. While that sounds like a cliché, it is grounded in reality. People are driven by emotions, and you can share the emotional state of someone else though good eye contact. If you are having a meaningful conversation with someone, you experience emotions.
When you are looking someone in the eye, you or your listener can experience the same emotion as a result of mirror neurons in the brain. This can form a deep connection with your listener. Why do you think women swoon over men who can hold long gazes? It’s because they are communicating and mirroring each other’s emotions. This eye contact is very powerful and forms intimate bonds.
How to Improve Eye Contact
If you’re having trouble making eye contact, you’re not alone. A lot of people have trouble making eye contact, often due to shyness or because they simply don’t have practice. Fortunately, there are a few simple tips you can follow to improve eye contact with others.
- Start out slowly by making more eye contact with people you’re comfortable with. When doing so, start by focusing on one eye and then switching to the other. Also, work on having a variety of conversations using eye contact, so you become more comfortable with different situations.
- Make sure you aren’t overly aggressive with eye contact. When you’re looking someone in the eye, lean back a bit to give a bit more space between you and your listener. This will help them feel more comfortable.
- When making eye contact, make sure you are not overdoing it. You don’t want to be that creepy guy who stares at someone. You also don’t want to be making eye contact in situations when it isn’t warranted, such as when someone is upset or clearly uncomfortable with the discussion you’re having.
One trick that can help you ease into making more eye contact is not looking people in the eye directly, but instead focusing just above their eyes, such as their eyebrows or their foreheads. This is a tactic some inexperienced public speakers use if they have trouble making eye contact. Often, people won’t notice the difference, and it will help you ease into having more direct eye contact.
The most successful men know the importance of using eye contact to get what they want out of life. Whether it’s getting a new job, a promotion, or a date for Saturday night, they can exude confidence and trust through eye contact.
If you have trouble making eye contact, now is the time to start practicing techniques to improve. You’ll notice a dramatic increase in your confidence, and you’ll be amazed at the doors that will open by the simple act of looking people in the eye.